Blessed

Today I did something I have not done in six years. I attended church. My parents took me to church every time the doors were open until they divorced in 1996. I still attended church more often than not and was active in the youth group. By the end of high school I had a job as the permanent nursery worker. With that job I was again at the church every time the doors were open. Then in 2002 our church found a man to fill our need for a preacher. He was very soft spoken and a good listener. Someone you felt like you could confide in to help give you direction. Very admirable qualities in a preacher. This is why it was such a shock to me when he would preach Sundays about a God that wanted nothing more than to punish me.

My mother is legally deaf. She has meniere's disease . She can hear with the help of a cochlear implant and a very high tech hearing aid. The doctors have told us that it is very likely that she will loose all her hearing in the future. Along with hearing loss my mother some mobility and pain management problems. According to a sermon from our Preacher all of these afflictions were proof of Gods displeasure with her.

J and I had planned to get married in May of 2003. I was impatient and wanted to move in with him until the wedding. This is not how I was raised. It hurt my mother and father for me to disregard my upbringing. We decided to get married in November 2002 instead. It was already late October. I asked the associate pastor if he would marry us. I had known him from the time I was four and wanted someone who I knew cared about me to do the honor of binding us together before God. After talking to us both he agreed. He was so wonderful that J asked him to baptize him the following Sunday evening. When we asked the head pastor for permission to use the church on Monday night for a small wedding service he refused us. The associate Pastor went to bat for us and wanted to know why he could not marry us that night. The Pastor had no reason to give.

These and many more incidents are the reasons that caused J and I to be distrustful. We were weary of finding a church when we had been hurt so deeply. I had watched an entire congregation be ripped in two. Those who stood by the Pastor and those who stood against. People I had gone to church with all my life were lost to me because of this civil war between us all.

In the past month I have been listening to Him speak to me. It is time to come home to me. It was not in My name that those things were done. Let me heal you.

The sermon today was about blessings. God blessed me when He brought me to my friends. I did not know six years ago that they would bring me back to the place I needed to be. God blesses me when He showed us the house we live in now this is less than a mile from the church. He put all these things in front of me. All I had to do was open my eyes and see them. I was so happy to be in His house again. To take communion for the first time in six years made me feel like a weight was lifted off of me. To feel welcome by other Christians and meet Church Leaders that I felt I could trust was wonderful. I didn't want to leave when the service was over. I knew I was where I belonged.