Slice and dice

I am off to the ortho doc for a consultation on Friday. Eight years ago I developed a ganglion cyst on my left carpal bone (wrist). My cyst was the result of a trauma. I flipped my wrist backwards trying to push a wheelchair up hill with a person in it. Wasn't any more painful than rolling your ankle. Just happened to look down later and freaked out when I saw the pea size bump on my wrist.

Here is the medical portion of this post:

A ganglion cyst is a tumor or swelling on top of a joint of covering of a tendon (tissue that connects muscle to bone). It looks like a sac (cyst) of liquid. Inside the cyst is a thick, sticky, clear, colorless jellylike material (synovial fluid). depending on the size, cysts may feel firm or spongy. It can be one cyst or multiple that appear as one cyst but usually share a common stalk within the deeper tissue. This type of cyst is not harmful and accounts for about half of all soft tissue tumors on the hand.

I had it aspirated (drained with a HUGE freaking needle) when it initially happened. won't be doing that again. It did not help and I hyperventilated. I have decided that I want it removed. Numb me up, cut me open, dig it out. No idea why that bothers me less than the idea of aspirating it. Probably because when it is extracted it cannot come back. Done.

The aspirating may or may not solve the problem. Pass.

not smart to tell mama no

The countdown to civilian life is getting closer and closer to zero. I am excited about the pay raise but nervous about the lack of health insurance. We will still have the interim insurance but I never feel safe until the "real" insurance kicks in. Plus the military has taken god care of us medically. We are a tad spoiled when it comes to co pays and prescriptions. I just pray we get awesome insurance with the new company. J is stressing about getting the right job for our family. He is very serious about his hunter/gatherer duties. I am not serious about much of anything.

Lorelei now tells Inigo whether he is being a good dog or a bad dog. She asks for sponge bob. It is cute to hear her ask for her new fav show. However I am not a fan of the sponge. Rory is a huge Sponge-ite. Lately that is the only show I have seen other than Word World. Sesame Street seems to have fallen out of favor. We will have to see if that lasts. I can only handle so much of that laugh before the twitching sends me into a coma.

Rory is being a brave boy. Not a smart boy, but brave. He has begun telling us no. I say he is brave because he knows that this is a one way ticket to punishment. His knowledge of this cause and effect is why I question his smarts. I know he has them. I think he just chooses to ignore them. Nothing makes mama's eyes cross like being openly defied by the three yr old.

Instant Karma- it could happen to you!

You might think Instant Karma is just a song but it is also our family slogan. I actually did not know it was a song until today. Sad, I know. I like the Beatles but not a fan of the Lennon/Yoko stage. This contributed to my lack of knowledge. I first heard the phrase Instant Karma from Samantha. I also learned to say eat the happy little kitten in Spanish. That one has no real world application for me. We were in our sophomore World History class. We were bantering as we often did. I let go of a zinger and then hurt myself almost immediately. "Instant Karma," Samantha said.

Our kiddos hear this a lot. Maybe it makes us bad parents, I dunno. One child aggravates the other then promptly trips. We check for blood/broken bones and then respond to them with instant karma. J and I are the most frequent victims of this phenomena. I think we are just uncoordinated. Since we are almost always picking on each other it makes sense that these accidents are usually preceded by some action or remark that had us just asking for cosmic retribution.

We also use the game Marco Polo as echo location in our house. We are not a normal family by any stretch of the imagination.

A Swede and an Aussie walk into a blog...

I googled my blog because I am too lazy to bookmark it on my laptop. Two interesting sites popped up. One was for a town in Sweden. The other was for a town in Australia. It appears my blog is locally popular there. At least this month it is. Could just be a fad. Or some sort of insane misdirection where they really were looking for one thing and wound up on my blog confused. Either way I am just tickled pink that I might have fans! I pretend I don't care but deep down I want you to like me. Iwill admit that I don't know very much about Sweden. That is sad. I might need to do a little research. The pictures and stories I have heard are nice. I would be interested to hear from any one in Sweden or who has been there. What is your favorite place, story, etc about Sweden.

I would like to take a minute to talk to Australia. Please do not be offended by decision to never visit your gorgeous continent. I love the accents, animals, & people. Little known fact, when I first learned about the continents Australia was my favorite. It still is. Something about the shape. However it is sort of a family curse that we have horrendous weird luck. Five minutes off the plane and I would be chased by a funnel web spider, bitten by a koala, fall into the ocean, to be devoured by a shark. I love you Australia. Believe me when i say it is not you, it is me.

Wow Wow

Lorelei and I are up at 11:30 PM watching "Wow Wow Wubbzy". J, Mom, and I went to see Harry Potter tonight throwing off the kiddos schedule. Usually we do bath, bed, and beyond from 8-8:30PM every night. We didn't get home until 10PM. Lorelei was sacked out in the recliner. She woke up when I laid her in bed. Of course. So happy to see mommy and daddy she was not going back to sleep. She has two more teeth up top. I wonder how long a reprieve we will have before the miserable nights of teething begin anew. I do not remember Rory having a hard time with teething.

Rory has been thrown under the bus over potty training. The experts tell you not to push them. They will do it when they are ready. He turns four in November. His Mommy decided he is ready. I have a very elaborate bribery system concocted with my Mother. It involves m&m's and matchbox cars. Rory is like me in that he is too busy for such mundane activities like the potty. I hate to slow down and do the things I know I have to do. Playing is so much more fun.

Happy I am not a bed bug.

I have been watching the new TV program "Monsters Inside Me" about parasites. There are more parasites than any other organism on the planet. Freaky huh? Last night I learned why I am so happy I am not a bed bug. The mating of bed bugs is just wrong. The male jumps on the female and spears her through the back with his...um, I think you get the picture. It is called traumatic insemination. Awful stuff there. Another thing I have learned is that if you go to the hospital for an illness but are not satisfied with the diagnosis, speak up! Almost every person on this show was given two wrong diagnosis before they real problem was identified. I felt really sorry for the man with the five bot flies in his head. People thought he was crazy when he told them that he could feel his sores moving. It is a very interesting program but it is making me more paranoid. J is not allowed to watch it. He would seal us in the house after five minutes of viewing. The bed bugs would have had his skin crawling.

Reply to Jenn

Q: So what's reason #1284 for not swimming unless it's a pool?? :)

A: It is a tie between Barracuda and the ashes of cremated people.

P.S.I think burial at sea is a beautiful thing. I wouldn't swim in the graveyard though.

P.S.S. I do not think barracuda are beautiful.

Little bunny foo foo

You know the song, right? About Little Bunny Foo Foo hopping through the forest picking up the field mice and bopping them on the head? Inigo was channeling him this morning. He brought me a soggy field mouse from the backyard. I got to be the fairy princess and bop him on the head. No way is he bringing his tiny find into my house.
For those of you keeping count that is one bird and one mouse. Inigo-2, Wildlife-0.

goofy and toofy

Lorelei has had a double ear infection for about two weeks now. The antibiotics are up but the Doc says she still has a bunch of pressure behind the eardrum. We are managing the discomfort with Tylenol. Seems to be working because this is how I found her after I finished up her big brothers bath last night.

Diapers make excellent hats. She was in high spirits. Looking at that picture I have a hard time reconciling that little girl with the miserable one in my arms four hours later. Besides the ears and a wonderful cold she picked up we are also teething. I felt her little gums and found 2-3 swollen spots where teeth are trying to erupt. She sobbed for almost 2 hours. Teething tablets and time finally saw us back to bed. We were both exhausted. Not that you could tell by how perky she was today. I am cautious. I know she is as unpredictable as the sea.

Real TV

Do you watch reality television? I do. I watch So You Think You Can Dance. I love Tabitha and Napoleon's choreography. Mia Michael's annoys me to pieces. Interpretive dancing is not my favorite style. When Mia choreographs I roll my eyes and skip to the next dance. Thank heavens for DVRs. Last night J walked into the bedroom while Lorelei and I were watching SYTYCD. She loves the music and likes to dance along. It was the Mia piece. J is extremely anti reality television. The look on his face told me that he was not impressed with the performance. "I know" I said, "I do not think it looks like dancing either. I mean, I can have a seizure on stage as well as the next person."Season 5 Top 20

Go phillip and jeanette!

What is with the strange stories? I like it when the dancing tells a story but aliens impregnating people? crash test dummies? I think I will pass. Remember the mother/daughter fox thing Wade Robson did? He is kind of a strange bird. I think working with Britney and the various boy bands caused a mild mental breakdown. The traditional Russian dance was interesting. I don't think it was necessary. No matter what couple pulled that card it was bound to be a disaster.

wade robson's crash test dummy jazz routine

Um, that is really my only reality show. Not into Survivor, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Bachelor/ette, etc.
I like the discovery or animal planet shows where people just happened to be filming at the right time. You know the ones. Silly zoo goer wants to get a close up picture of Ting Ting the Panda. Fast forward to Ting Ting laying the smack down on silly zoo goer. Recently saw some divers on Untamed and Uncut have a great white hop into the shark cage with them. Reason #3569821 why I do not swim unless in a pool.
Medical Mystery, Worst Highway Chases in history, these are the shows that label me as a train wreck watcher. Only on TV. I think it is just wrong to stop your car on the highway to watch someone elses misfortune. Rude, rude, rude.

Run away rodents

My voles are back. (Kind of like mini moles) I still have Mickey and Minnie living in the wood pile. I don't mind them so much as long as they stay outside. With as many cats as we have it is their funeral should they decide to come in. In this case I still don't see them. I am fine with that. I hope they stay outside. The idea of being ripped apart by a creature 3X the size you are is just not an appealing death. J has a vendetta going with the voles. You see voles eat earth worms (among other things I am sure). We have a very nice lawn that J worked 2 years to attain. The earthworms really like our lawn. We grow very fat, happy voles. If they did not make little holes all over the yard J might not hate them.

side track moment...
The first time I saw them I swore it was a snake hole. In Texas holes like that house snakes, not this weird rodent I had never heard of. I didn't know what one looked like up close until Linus (our golden) dumped a dead one in my lap. I was very pregnant at the time with Lorelei. Happy camper was not the best description for me that day. Poor Linus. He really payed the piper for that.

...back on topic.
Take a walk through my yard. You will see the little dudes sprint through the grass. They are flat and dark so at first I thought it was a giant water roach. I totally prefer rodents over roaches. Our bug guy told us how to get rid of the buggers. Spread citronella granules over the grass. Earthworms eat it. Voles eat citro worms and die. I am not sure how I feel about it yet. They ARE outside. Our yard is not destroyed. Just a few tiny holes. They DO eat the bugs so a purpose is served. Why do I care? I think it is the little noses that do it to me. They twitch to the beat of my heart. Look at the picture below.
How can you say that ain't cute? J has a horrible memory. He never reads my blog. I think the voles are safe. Geez, I can't believe I am conspiring with rats.

4th of July Mall Crawl

We started our fourth of July by watching wall-E in the "big bed" together. Good thing we have a king size or all four of us would not fit. We didn't have anything planned. No cook outs or fireworks. After nap time we got bored. Kids and adults piled into the van. J drove around aimlessly until somehow we ended up at the Galleria in Brentwood. I was getting Lorelei out the car when i realized she had blown out her diaper. She has been on antibiotics for a double ear infection. I had a spare outfit or we would have wasted a trip.

I know kids grow fast but wow she shot up quick. Brave man to have her up there after the diaper I just changed. In this particular mall is a fantastic pizza place called the California Pizza Kitchen. There are so many choices for pizzas. I was a little overwhelmed. i will let you in on a little secret. I don't like pizza that much. They have more than pizza at CPK (California pizza kitchen not cabbage patch kids). I am trying to bring my cholesterol down so pizza and pastas are not on my list. Neither is much in the way of dairy, sugar, and red meat. I am reduced to granola and cardboard all because of 30 points. (kill me now) Oh well. Now is the time for that healthy living over haul I have been pondering.

She lasted about 45 seconds before the crayons went in the mouth.

Pizza and coca-cola. What kid could be happier?

Back on topic. I ordered a chicken won ton wrap thing. Won tons are bad for the diet but better than pizza dough. They were thin, I promise. The won tons were stuffed with chicken, tomato's, avocado, and bacon. i would have done without the bacon. I tried to scrap it out so J could put it on his pizza. He appreciated that. J's pizza was the epitome of all the things I cannot have right now. It was called the meat cravers deep dish pizza.

Mmmm, Kiwi Lemonade. So delicious.

What did you do for the fourth?