Today was my surgery pre testing exam. It was really just questionnaires, sign this here,check your vitals, lets take blood! You know, all that jazz. Of course this sounds like stuff that should take two and a half hours, right? I love the part where they told me I have to be in the waiting room three hours before my appointment on surgery day. J was shocked and appalled. I hate waiting. J brings that hate up to the level of art. Normally J is quiet. He is silent around people he doesn't know. Today I couldn't shut him up. He picked on me unmercifully. I was trying to register and he was using his knuckles to test my reflexes under the desk. You know the lady taking my information loved having her desk kicked. In the office he tried to answer the health questions before i could.
Nurse: Do you snore?
J: No but she breathes like Darth Vader.
Nurse: Are you depressed?
J: Well look at her.
He ducked and just missed getting hit in the head by the book I had in my hands. The nurse asked if I wanted her to put him in the hall. Tempting...but I let him stay. I am used to his brand of abuse, I mean humor. Silly Freudian slips.
On to the bloodletting! A different nurse was sent in to draw my one tiny tube of blood. I am very pale. You can see my veins which lulls you into the delusion that it will be easy to get to it. However, my veins are deep. I despise when I get uber confident nurse or tech that thinks "Easy peasy" and dives right in. Later, when I have blown veins, half moon shapes nail prints in my palm, and a look that would peel paint, we still have no blood in the tiny tube. She even used a tiny needle today. Thankfully she was smart. When she was unsuccessful on her first try, she found someone who draws blood for a living. Is she the only one who knows that this kind of person exists? Only took her one stick to strike the red gold. My only complaint, she used a huge needle.
That just goes to show you can be as gentle and delicate as you want but if you do not know what you are doing, you still make a huge mess.
