Monday, March 30, 2009
What would you do?
Last week I was reading one of the parenting magazines I subscribe to and they had a poll about whether or not a parent should lie for their child. I do not like liars. I teach my children that lies are sins. That said I participate in the traditions of Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. SO where does the line get drawn in the sand? At the ages of 3 and 11 months I have not had any real need to lie for my children.
Here is a story from my childhood. When I was a sophomore in high school I started skipping school with J's brother. I would go over to their house and spend the day with J when he did not have to work. Of course I thought i was so very clever and that my mother would never find out. She might not have found out as soon as she did had the school not called home to check on me. I know for a fact that she would have found out eventually. I subscribe to the thought that you reap what you sow and all deceptions will come to light. Mom covered for me and told them that I was with my father that day. If she had told them that I was in fact skipping school I would have been suspended for 3 days. To my mother this was not punishment but vacation. She waited for me to get home and asked me about my day. I dug my own grave. It was big enough to be a mass grave to tell you the truth.
The punishment I received from mom was worse than anything the school cold have given me. See my mother knew me well. She knew how I ticked and what made me who I was. Therefore she knew how to inflict the most pain with the least amount of effort. Weeks later it got back to me that several ladies at the school were talking about how awful it was that my mother would lie for me. I was so mad. How dare they talk about my mother? They had no proof she was covering for me. But whose fault was it that this was even happening? Mine. I was so ashamed of myself for causing a hit to my mother's reputation that I never skipped school again.
(The month of Saturdays I had to spend in detention to make up for all the days I missed didn't hurt as a deterrent either)
Did my mother do the right thing by me? I can't say that I think it was the right thing if we are talking definite black and white sides of the law. It did teach me the best lesson that I could have learned. So would you lie for your child?
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