No Passport

**Disclaimer** The following post does not contain information that should be used when making personal travel decisions. They are solely the twisted opinion of the paranoid blogger that runs this site. Please refrain from killing her in the event that you are offended.

Why I will never travel to Australia/Africa

I watch a lot of discovery channel programs. The scenery and landscapes they depict are truly breathtaking. However the flora and fauna is scary. Take Australia for instance. Not the biggest of places and yet it has the highest concentration on things that can kill you naturally. For crying out loud they have a poisonous sea snail! Forget the great white sharks, poisonous snakes, and funnel web spiders, they have snails that want to kill you.

If you ask me why I will not go to Africa I will just have to smack you. Do you ever watch national geographic? Those are not nice kitty cats playing tag with that gazelle. I remember in kindergarten we went to the zoo and saw the hippos. They looked so nice. Nay, nay not so my friend. Hippo has serious 'tude. Don't even get me started on the crocs and snakes. Pass. What

Yes I know that there are plenty of natural dangers in America. That is not the point of this post. This post is to explain why I do not travel abroad. all me a fuddy duddy if you want. I prefer to think of it as being over protective of my own well being.

Soon...

The picture makes me laugh. It is not quite fitting for this post other than the word "soon" but I don't care.

Friday I will know is S.A.M. is a boy or a girl.

FRIDAY!!!!

Argh! I waited for 20 weeks to get here and now seven measly days are going to kill me.

P.S. Don't you feel sorry for that chihuahua? Whatever that cat is plotting is going to sting.

Quick thoughts from CNN

Cult leader seeks to free children, official says

I am a christian. Of course I believe that I have the right religion or I would not practice it. Of course I think it is the right religion for others but that is not my decision. Seeing as how there is a such thing as free will everyone makes their own decisions. If you decide to barricade yourself in a cave with your buddies, go for it. If you promise to blow yourselves up if I get near said cave, fine I will stay away. But when you have your kids tucked away in this cave I have a small problem.

Holidays are here

Tis the season to go nutty. Christmas is probably my favorite time of year. I love to give gifts but hate shopping for them. I always aim to be done shopping by thanksgiving at the latest. On a good year I am done before Halloween. My Christmas cards are always done and ready to send on black Friday. If you are unfamiliar with black Friday you are obviously not a woman with a long list of relatives to shop for. Sure there are lots of great sales the day after thanksgiving but is it really worth loosing an eye? I say nay nay. The only time I go out on black Friday is to drop the cards in the mailbox. J always braves the madness for that "great buy" but he is over six foot tall and tends to look p.o.'ed a lot. Who is gonna mess with that? Short little me with my dopey grins to complete strangers however is prime cut for holiday scavengers.

This year Mom and I are going half each on a large professional rolling toolbox for J. Mom got me some bath & body works products and a huge gift certificate to Borders Books. (yes we pick out our own gifts in this family.) Mom is getting a family tree necklace with the birthstones of her mother, herself, J, Me, Rory, Baby (who will be in April). Rory is gonna make out like a king. His list is too long to go through and it keeps getting bigger! Oh well, Christmas morning is for the little ones in my opinion. They wait all year for birthdays and Christmas. Two days a year that should be as magical as possible.

Speaking of magic, anyone have possessed toys? Rory got this fisher price ride sometime in the last year that like to play music when all alone. It creeps me out.

I am the boring one.

I know that a lot of bloggers out there take themselves very seriously. I am not one of them. It is too hard to try and think of something really profound to write about. I like to settle for mildly entertaining. When I start getting serious about a topic I end up trying to make the all important "point" and that can get ugly fast. Besides as I have said many times before I am lazy. I have a type B personality that just would rather drift smoothly down stream than fight the current to hard. Not saying I am a conformist. My friends tell me I am one of the oddest people they have ever met. It makes me blush. I enjoy laughter and try to turn any situation into a humorous one. This is not always for the best but hey we all have to have a hobby. Yes I have a talent for witty repartee. Most of the time I am the butt of my own jokes. If you cannot laugh at you, well then you are going to feel really dumb when you realize you are the only one who is not.

My laid back, no nonsense attitude is a source of contention between me and my conspiracy theorist hubby. I still remember when we first discussed the whole "big Brother" privacy issue. First of all I agree with him that there is always more going on that we know about. I agree that we probably have less privacy than we think due to govt monitoring. Does this bother me? Not really. Why?

A- I cannot do anything about it. Besides I feel a little safer knowing that they have their ears to the ground.

B- I am very boring and not worth monitoring. Seriously, who would watch a reality TV show about me? Heck, I wouldn't.

Poor J. Little does he know that he is pretty boring too. I grew up with the knowledge that somehow I always got caught when I was bad. It is sort of an odd family legacy passed down to each generation. I would never excel in a life of crime. In the movie of life I am just the comic relief.

Back in action

Okay so I have technically been back since Tuesday. I needed a break. Two trips both 13 hours in length in the company of a pushy cat and toddler is cause for a siesta. Not to mention that my allergies flared up major bad in Florida turning me into the sneezing snot monster. You can find this elusive creature in dark bedroom surrounded by crumpled Kleenex's. It has a unique call that sounds like a cross between a wheeze and a hacking cough.
Since I am preggers and it is quote "Just your allergies" I am not being given anything other than clariten and a dose of benadryl before bedtime. The Doctor also warned me that this always last longer in us knocked up folks so I should expect to get comfortable with mucus.

The time we spent in Florida was great. I had a blast with my Aunt and cousins. Of course having my husband handy after an 8 week absence made me so deliriously blissful there was not much bringing me down. Both of my cousins have new love interests so I met them. I approve heartily. That is of course what Jim and Alicia have been waiting for, the approval of a younger cousin. Rory was enamored of Jim's girlfriend Liz. Soon as she hit the door he was on her. Alicia's Fiancee Crew was Rory's giant teddy bear friend.

Took Rory trick or treating for the first time. He did not really understand the logic behind it but the kid was crazy about strangers with candy. (Maybe not the best message?) We went with my cousin Jim, Liz, and their two rug rats. Rory was dressed as a pumpkin but as the night went on he ended up in just his onesie. It was quite hot and that pumpkin get up was making him sweat. Derrick and Isaac (7 & 5) were both ninjas. Derrick lost most of his ninja tools over the course of the night. Isaac was less than ninja like with his frequent tumbles across the lawn.

The next day was Rory's 2ND birthday. We had a transformers cake with chocolate ice cream. Presents included a little people's farmhouse, talking light up police car, john Deere tractor with animals, and a race car that counts in seven languages. The police car was hi favorite. I actually just bought him the matching fire truck for Christmas.

We spent some time with John's side of the family also. His Papa Jorge and Grandma Joann took us out to eat twice. We ate once with Aunt Jan and Uncle Bill. They took us to a seafood restaurant on the boardwalk. It was very cool. Finally got to meet Adam (Jan's son) who John has told countless childhood tales about. Very nice guy. The day before we left was our fifth wedding anniversary. Woo hoo! That makes nine years that we have been a couple. Here's to nine more.