Tarp shopping

I have a wedding to attend next weekend so of course I needed to purchase a dress. I do not currently own any that are fancy enough for such an occasion. I really am just a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. My need for clothing took me to the local mall. I went to J.C. Penny, Dillard's, etc to find something. I tried on my size and yes I do know for a fact that this is my size and no dice. I have lost ten pound so I know I have not gone up. My problem was not in the waist at all. It was the beasts I mean breasts that held me back.
My evil twins that try to escape at every turn refused to allow the zipper to slide home. Why do designers feel the need to discriminate against us busty broads? I realize that all those anorexic supermodels are jealous of my rack. The only thing they have sticking out it ribs! That was mean, I know. I just want to be able to buy a dress that covers my chest without needing to remove five yards of fabric. I am sure by now you are imagining someone with watermelons attached to their chest. I promise I am not freakishly large. I suppose that if I was then I would be more understanding.
I did find my dress eventually. In the same size I tried at Stick People Store. Where did I find clothes that do not lie about what size they are? Lane Bryant.
*Rasberry*